Great communication skills are the beginning of a good relationship between parents and kids. These skills are honed throughout our lives; at work, interaction with friends, family and social events. The groundwork gets laid at a very early age and makes it easier for your child to communicate as they grow and mature. Often, we get bogged down by confusion between good communication and bad communication. Sometimes we find that the way we do it isn't effective or easy. Here are some tips that will help you through some of those difficult times.

Talk With Your Child NOT At Your Child

If you really want to be heard when you talk to your kids, physically get down to their level. Hold them, kneel down or sit them on your lap. As are many things in life, direct approach is always the best. Look them right in their eyes and without getting angry, let them know what you have to say. It's important to remain calm outwardly, and say your piece as clearly and with as little "jargon" as possible. Meaning, don't try and impress your kids with your eloquent vocabulary skills. Just stay on point. Ask your child to look you in the eye so that you know that you have their attention. Use this tool when you're having an important discussion, that way your child can tell the difference between a simple "good morning" and a "what did you do to the neighbour's window" conversation. Remember to listen. Some of the best insights come from listening rather than talking.

Use Simple Words

Often more effective; the simpler words are less confusing. Kids shut-down quickly if we give them too much to process. Make your point in a kind, firm AND reasonable amount of time. If you don't, they'll tune you out. Sometimes, if you're listening versus talking, and they say an insincere "yes" just to give you an answer; ask them to explain what you just said. Quite often kids will be conditioned to just give the "yes" answer and get off the hot seat. If they don't understand the situation, take the time to give it to them in different words perhaps giving them an example to show them more clearly.

Get To The Point

Get the point across and get it across quickly. Most kids have the attention span of a gnat so making sure that they understand without wrapping too many words around the situation is sometimes best. Kids can process the direct conversations, it's the long explanations and the ramblings that their eyes begin to glaze over and they begin looking around for something, anything to get them away from this inquisition. 

Don't Yell

There's a surefire guarantee that when you're yelling your kids are not listening to anything that you're saying. Either they get defiant and storm off or they sit there crying and upset that you're mad at them. Nothing will get accomplished while the point is lost behind tears. If you feel the need to yell, remove yourself from the room for a moment to get your composure. Yelling only demonstrates a loss of self-control; there are many other more positive traits to show your kids such as being a role model. If you yell, your kids will learn that this is an acceptable way to deal with problems in their own lives. If you are calm and rational and still get your point across then that learning skill will be passed down to your children.

For more suggestions, here are Ten Tips On Raising Great Kids

Finally, kids don't have to listen to a parent. They make a conscious choice to listen or not to listen just like an adult would. No amount of coercion, bribery, begging or pleading will get them to listen, they just don't care…unless you've shown them that you can reciprocate by listening to them as well.  Instilling some of the strong communication skills between you and your children in the early years will help your family cope through the difficult times that are bound to arise over the years and most certainly throughout the teen and adolescent years.