Is facing reality in your past relationships the best way to gain happiness and contentment in your life. A new study suggests just that.

This recently published study in the "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology" talks about whether it's healthy or not to deal with past issues with spouses or to put on "rose-coloured glasses" where a bad relationship is concerned. Findings suggested that it's dependant on the severity of that "bad relationship".

If your relationship ended or was made miserable by simple things such as miscommunication or incompatibility; then the study says that allowing yourself to look back on the relationship with less critical eyes can actually help you lessen the effects of depression over the subsequent months.

However, if the partnership was plagued with infidelity, abuse or some other such serious situation; then the "glossing-over" of that relationship actually causes a deepening depression. Positive thought was actually a negative. Those who minimized a terrible time in their lives were not able to fully take control of this negative in their life and frequently fell into the same type of situation in the future. Much healthier were those who allowed themselves to feel the pain and face the devastating effects of whatever they were through in a previous relationship. In short, getting real = getting better.

You're not alone if you're tempted to want to focus on the good. It's the natural condition. Daydreams of the honeymoon phase and looping the playlist on the good times. Unfortunately though, these rose-coloured shades that we throw on, often conceal or minimize whatever bad things might be going on behind closed doors. Often we feel ashamed, embarrassed. It's much easier to pretend like it's happening to someone else and not you.

So, the next time you want to shut out the bad things and are tempted to only see the good, remember that when we do this we are limited as to what we allow ourselves to see and feel. By not accepting the reality of the situation we find ourselves in, we are at risk of not dealing with the negative feelings...and that spells trouble for future relationships. We also run the risk of missing red flags or warning signs of infidelity or other such serious matters. 

When it comes to relationships, both past and present, the key to happiness is to keep it honest and real. And throw out those "rose coloured glasses". Hiding from the truth never did anybody any good!