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Difficult as it may seem to the good at heart; liars are out there and they’re playing around the strings of our hearts. Unfortunately for those people who are trustworthy and basically honest individuals; they are often the victim. Why does this happen to them? The most basic answer to this question is that their minds are as trusting as their hearts and few of them believe wholeheartedly that there are some people out there in the world who just do NOT have a conscience. They know that there are…..but they don’t really KNOW. There minds, quite simply put, do not operate on this level of deception and suspicion. Because they are good people; they assume that everybody deserves the benefit of the doubt. Some do; some don’t. It’s the plain and honest truth. NOW….knowing this…..how do we avoid these individuals in our romantic lives. Here are a few hints….they hopefully will allow you to raise your defenses and not take a path often travelled.
Romantic liars are very good at information control. If your partner knows far more about you than you know about him, there's a chance there's a hidden agenda in play. If you are an open book when the relationship is new; but the partner is selectively leaving things out or offering only random snippets of information that cannot be substantiated…..LOOK OUT!
Another sign is that you have an idea of what your partner is like, but you've never really had any of the information verified additionally you are not given the information that you need in order to substantiate it…i.e. my ex-wife left me for someone else….(you do not have any names with which to check on the background of this individual) No alarms are going off; they seem pretty affable and sincere, soooo….you don’t question it……WRONG! If you don’t get to ask questions and get information at this learning stage of the relationship; then you are setting a dangerous precedent for later on.
A third sign – and a BIG one! Deceptive relationships usually take off like a rocket ... like love at first sight. The benefit to the romantic liar is that they have you moving so fast and furious into the next levels of the relationship that you don’t have time to breathe…..let alone question them on past involvements or problems. They definitely have you at a disadvantage…once you are there, you will be hard pressed to back-track to these issues.
Fourth, a romantic liar have a built-in need to keep their partners on just a short enough lease to be out of contact with the real world and out of contact with people who might know the truth. It is common for romantic liars to go to some rather extraordinary lengths to limit a victim's contact with friends, family, co-workers, etc.
Finally, a very strong sign that you're mixed up with a romantic liar is that your intuition will eventually signal you. DO NOT ignore these feelings; it’s something deep inside of you that is telling you that something is not quite right with this individual……HEED THEM AND WALK AWAY!
So if someone swoops into your life declaring their undying and passionate love for you by telling you that “they’ve never felt this way before” and “do you believe in love at first sight?”....step back and keep these simples rules in mind. Keeping your emotions in check while this overly-attentive Romeo or Juliet works their wiles with you; will be no SMALL feat! But it’s gotta be done. If in fact it is truly love at first sight and your new partner is true and honest and good….they will be patient while you figure it out and they will understand you wanting to know all about them. THAT IS TRUE LOVE…..warts and all….”til death do us part” kind of love. It’s a little thing call unconditional love….if you don’t know what it is….GOOGLE it!
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