The definition of an open marriage or relationship is when two partners, whether married or dating, decide to see other people while still maintaining their relationship with each other. The primary difference between cheating and an open relationship is that both people are aware that their partner is seeing someone else and they have mutually agreed on this. To some, commitment in a relationship doesn’t mean monogamy. In this arrangement, you can have relations with other partners, but remain committed to your spouse or partner. The important factor is that both parties have consented to the open relations, which ultimately makes it acceptable.

It can be difficult for some to fully understand this kind of partnership. There is often the thought that you’re just getting permission from your spouse to cheat; it’s still cheating and hurting your partner. Understanding your needs and being in tune to those of your partner is the key to helping you understand the nature of your relationship. You must be fully aware of these in order to manage an open relationship in a loving and respectful way. One of the main reasons people may consider an open relationship is to spice up their relationship, or bring back the excitement that they enjoyed when their relationship was in its beginning days.

In many cases one partner will feel more unsatisfied than the other. Instead of stepping outside the relationship in the conventional sense, this arrangement allows the unsatisfied spouse to pursue an alternate option that is acceptable to both parties. An important thing to mention at this time is that before you jump with both feet into open relations; be aware that you do not push your partner into an arrangement that they feel obligated to agree. Many people are highly uncomfortable with sharing their partner. The major fear in an open relationship is abandonment because of the element of competition. If you allow other people to have sexual access to your partner you worry that they might steal him or her from you, especially if you feel like your partner is getting the better end of the agreement going out while you’re stuck at home with a chick-flick and a box of tissues to keep you company.

You need to figure out your limits as a couple and set boundaries for each of you. This is an agreement that needs to work for both of you not just one half of the partnership.

Important questions you need to ask each other before embarking on an open relationship:

• What is your definition of commitment, is it the same for both of you?
• How committed are both of you in your current relationship?
• What, if any, are your fears about having an open relationship?
• Do you worry about losing your spouse or your place in the relationship?
• Are you able to deal with jealousy – both from yourself and from your partner?

The deceit and dishonesty the follows infidelity is still one of the biggest causes of heartbreak, loss of trust and ultimately failure of a relationship. Does the open relationship concept promote a solution to an age old dilemma by encouraging a more open communication between partners?