We hear about domestic abuse; we think instantly of women or children as the victims. Many, many are, but we as a society tend to overlook that males are frequently the victims of abuse as well. One in six males will suffer some sort of abuse over their lifetime. It is often depicted in a more comical sense in media however it is a very real and painful life-changing episode for a man. Let’s keep in mind that males are expected to be the “stronger sex”….and as such perhaps worry about further blows to their self-esteem by reporting the abusive partner. Peers and family members, unless they personally witness it in the home, may be less inclined to believe the abuser. Even those family members may become so conditioned by the family environment that they do not recognize the signs as abnormal. We’re all too familiar with the expressions….”take it like a man”, “man-up” and “men don’t cry”. How then are these guys supposed to reach out. Society and media has played a very definite role and it’s time to change. If we are so willing to believe a woman as a victim, how is it different for a man? He will suffer the same emotional scars, the same blow to his self-esteem, the same devastation. Except for one small note: men are not as supported in society with regards to care or shelters in an abusive situation. There quite literally are very few places for a man to turn for help. Women can be abusive physically in some cases and can cause the death of their spouse. Why do we have trouble believing they are capable of abuse? Generally perceived as the “weaker sex” perhaps we are more inclined to take the female side in a domestic abuse argument. Unfortunate for the man who suffers disfigurement from any number of attacks. Unfortunate for the man who suffers verbal insults and slurs daily.

If you are a man in an abusive relationship, or know one that is….GET OUT! It’s okay to ask for help, you are not to blame and cannot change your partner. You need to look after you. Know your options and plan your exit from the abusive partner…..LOVE SHOULD NOT HURT!

It’s time for us to change our point of view and allow ourselves to realize that domestic abuse is NOT gender-specific…..Abusers can be male or female!