If we're going to be realistic; break-ups are pain and they can make even the most together and self-confident person wallow in self-pity or curl up into a fetal postition for days on end. So how do you get over your now-ex and come out of the situation with both your sanity and your dignity intact? Here are some hard lines to take with yourself and your emotions.

1. Have no contact with your ex for at least 60 days; if necessary ask a friend to help you enforce it, in case you have an emotional meltdown and dial the forbidden number during some weak moment. NO CONTACT! Not even just to see how they're doing. Create some diversions for yourself to get your mind off of what they are doing and who they might be with. Get out and do some fun stuff with friends or enjoy some past-time that you haven't been able to find the time to take part in.

2. How do you know that your first post-breakup relationship isn't just a rebound?

The reality is that it probably will be. As long as you're honest with your new-found partner, there's nothing wrong with that. A no-strings attached relationship can be just what the doctor ordered to get you over your emotional hurdle; but honesty is vital so that your past hurt doesn't hurt an innocent future partner.

3. Okay, so you broke up with someone, but then you begin to realize maybe you were perfect together after all. Should you call and try to get back together?

If you find yourself feeling that way, it's probably a case of what we call "dumper's remorse." Starting over can be tough, so often we end up second-guessing decisions and rewriting the relationship. Often We will forget or downplay the reason we broke up. Resist the temptation and avoid contact. It's vital to wait for your common sense to return.

4. How do you know when your significant other has already decided in his/her head that it's over, but they're not going to cut the ties — classically called "backhanded breakup"?

People will pick fights over little things when they don't have the guts to get out of a relationship. So if you're fighting over leaving the curling iron plugged in or the toilet seat up, that's probably a sign that something bigger is going on. What they're waiting for if for you to get mad and say something like, "Well, then maybe we shouldn't be together!" Then all they have to say is, "Good, I'm out of here." It's all very sneaky and underhanded.

5. Can you ever really be friends with an ex or is that a myth?

When you're first trying to get over someone, you can't. Firstly, You need to have distance to see him or her for who they really are — a 60-day "he/she-tox" is imperative to be able to see more clearly. Exes who end up as friends have usually had significant time pass — years, rather than months or weeks. But hopefully, you'll be in a great new relationship that rocks your world and won't want to bother with dragging anything old into it or if you do, your old feelings will be so far removed that it's fine either way.

6. What if you still want a relationship with his family even though it's over with him?

You also loved wearing his old comfy trackpants or you loved her old vinyl collection — but the bottom line is that those things aren't yours, they never were. It's time to let them go; if they somehow find their way back to you down the road, be cordial but don't feel like you have to invite them to the next family function.

7. Can revenge ever be good therapy, such as flirting with one of their friends or spreading a nasty rumor about them?

The best revenge you could ever have is getting on with your life and living it to the fullest. It's because you're doing it for you, not somebody else. You want to leave your ex with the realization that you are a person that is strong and focused on moving forward. That's the way you want to be seen; not as the stalker type that would hound them with IMs or the 2 am crying jags on the phone. Sometimes it's easier than other times, but try to keep your dignity intact and set out for the new direction in your life. That's the best way to get back at someone who felt you weren't worth keeping in their life.